وصف كيميائي للمراءة
WOMEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
ELEMENT: WOMEN
SYMBOL: WO
DISCOVERER: ADAM
ATOMIC MASS: GENERALLY ACCEPTED AS 110LBS., BUT KNOWN TO VARY FROM 00 TO 55O LBS.
OCCURENCE: COPIOUS QUANTITIES FOUND IN ALL URBAN AREAS.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. SURFACE USUALLY COVERED WITH A PAINTED FILM.
2. BOILS AT NOTHING, FREEZES WITHOUT REASON.
3. MELTS IF GIVEN SPECIAL TREATMENT.
4. BITTER IF INCORRECTLY USED.
5. FOUND IN VARIOUS STATES, FROM VIRGIN TO MOST COMMON ORE.
6. YEILDS TO PRESSURE APPLIED TO CORRECT POINTS.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. HAS GREAT AFFINITY FOR GOLD, SILVER, PLATINUM, AND PRECIOUS STONES.
2. ABSORBS GREAT QUANTITIES OF EXPENSIVE SUBSTANCES.
3. MAY EXPLODE SPONTANEOUSLY WITHOUT PRIOR WARNING, AND FOR NO KNOWN REASON.
4. INSOLUBLE IN LIQUIDS, BUT ACTIVITY GREATLY INCREASED BY SATURATION IN ALCOHOL.
5. MOST POWERFUL MONEY REDUCING AGENT KNOWN TO MAN.
COMMON USES:
1. HIGHLY ORNAMENTAL, ESPECIALLY IN SPORTS CARS.
2. CAN BE GREAT AID TO RELAXATION.
TEST:
1. PURE SPECIMEN TURNS ROSY PINK IN IT’S NATURAL STATE
2. TURNS GREEN WHEN PLACED ALONGSIDE A BETTER SPECIMEN.
HAZARDS:
1. HIGHLY DANGEROUS EXCEPT IN EXPERIENCED HANDS.
2. ILLEGAL AND POSSIBLY FATAL TO POSSESS MORE THAT ONE AT ANY GIVEN TIME.
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